I often get questions from my students, or emails from people who go on my website, asking me about mindfulness and how it benefits them. These are the kind of questions I get asked most frequently.
If you have any questions that are not here, why not ask in the comments section below? I'll do my best to answer you, or to refer you to somewhere or someone that has the answer.
1. How does meditating improve my life?
Whenever we learn a new skill, we need to
practice it. And even when we already have a skill, we need to practice it so
to improve it and not lose it. The same is true of mindfulness.
Whenever we practice sitting quietly and
paying attention to our breathing, or sounds, we develop the skill of focus, of
noticing everything around us, of remaining in the present moment rather than
continually living in the future or the past. Then we can bring that skill to
our everyday activities.
This is beneficial in that it improves
concentration and focus and reduces stress.
2. How is paying attention to drinking my tea
or coffee better than using the time to check my emails and plan my day?
Paying attention to one thing while doing
something else is a habit we’ve all grown used to. But it means that we are
continually either thinking about the future or the past instead of being
really aware of what’s going on right now.
But if we can train ourselves to pay attention
to the current experience, we began to develop the ability to really see the
present more clearly, and to learn from it, rather than having a vague or
filtered view of what’s going on. Sometimes we don’t want to look at what’s going
on too closely because we are afraid we might see something we don’t like. But
if we can stay with the experience as it unfolds, we’re more likely to leave
our preconceived ideas and prejudices behind.
So, when you are then planning your day, you
are not only doing so with your full focus and concentration, you are also
doing so with clearer vision and understanding.
3. I found that the meditation was hard: My
mind just kept drifting away. What am I doing wrong?
Great! The good news is that the moment you
noticed that your mind had drifted away, you were being mindful.
Just gently bring your mind back to the
meditation. You will probably have to do this several times during the
meditation.
Some days we have to do this every 5 seconds
or less. Other days, our mind will be quieter and we may only have to redirect
our attention every minute or so. With practice, we get better and better, but
we all will still have days when our attention has the staying power of a
two-year-old child.
The most important thing is to stay calm and
relaxed about it, and regard the thoughts as part of the meditation, rather
than interference.
4. How long will it take before I notice mindfulness
making a difference in my life?
Not surprisingly, there is a good deal of
variability in how this practice impacts people's lives and when they start to
see those changes occur.
That said, it's fairly common for people to
report within a couple of weeks of dedicated practice that they were able to
meet a situation with a new sense of having choice in how they respond. These
are the early signs of developing a degree of freedom from our automatic and
habitual tendencies.
Something else to consider: Co-workers,
family and friends sometimes notice these changes before we ourselves are
clearly aware of them.
5. Is it a good idea to listen to music while
I’m meditating?
Music can be helpful in keeping you attentive
or it can be a distraction. Sometimes we want the music to entertain us because
we’re finding it difficult to stay in the moment.
Really, the aim of mindfulness meditation is
to stay in the moment, to be aware of what is happening now within our mind and
body and music can be a distraction from that.
I would recommend that you try meditating for
short periods (5-10 mins) with music at first, and then lengthen the time as
you become more comfortable with it. After that, try meditating without the
music, and compare how you get on with and without it.
6. I get fidgety when I sit still for any
length of time. What should I do?
We are in a habit of shifting and moving to
the body’s demands without even being aware of it.
By bringing mindfulness to this habit, we can
learn to quiet the body as well as the mind. So whenever you feel the urge to
move, acknowledge that urge but without moving. If it helps, say to yourself
(silently) “I want to move”, then go back to the meditation. If the urge
returns immediately or you feel you just cannot stay still, then make the
decision, mindfully, to move.
With practice, you will be able to acknowledge
these urges without having to move. But it’s important not to try and ignore
the urge, or push it away. Be aware of them and mindfully decide whether to
give to them, or not.
7. I’m enjoying the mindfulness meditation,
but I still find it difficult to be mindful in my interaction with others. Will
this come with time?
As we practice being mindful in everyday situations
it does become easier. So it’s best to
begin with situations that do not involve interacting with others.
Try being mindful while walking, on public
transport or waiting in line, for example. Just be aware of your surroundings
by using your senses: Look at everything you can around you, listen to all the
sounds you can hear, be aware of your body; whether it’s warm or cold,
comfortable or uncomfortable. Be aware of your thoughts or any emotions you
might be feeling.
As you grow more accustomed to doing this, begin to
incorporate mindfulness into your interaction with others: Wait for others to
finish their sentence before deciding you already know what they are going to
say, listen to what they are saying and take a moment before you speak rather
than rushing in. Ask questions and wait for people to answer before making up
your mind about their motives.
These things become easier the more we practice
them. And remember, have patience with yourself. You won’t always get it right,
but you will get it right more often.
